I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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