is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
