I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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