There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
