I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
