i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Randomize
