Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Having a random hookup so left but love u
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
