I'm going to jail i love you
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
