Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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