i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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