just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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