if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
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