I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
