i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
You were trust falling into bushes
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
