i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
