every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
