This is not my ceiling
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
