$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
