We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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