member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i came on her dog
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
