why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
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