The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
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