According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
