Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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