She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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