Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
