I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize
