if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
