These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
