I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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