we have officially lost it.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
