i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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