so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
