I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
