sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
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