Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
