He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
