then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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