Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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