The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
