Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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