Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
