Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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