But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
