I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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