mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
