never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
