Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
