every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
MIDGETS
????
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
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