just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
