"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
