You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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