PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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