my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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